Building Trust and Authority: Stepparents’ Experiences of Discipline and Boundary-Setting in Blended Families

Abstract

Blended families present unique challenges for stepparents, particularly in establishing authority, setting boundaries, and building trust with stepchildren. This qualitative study explored stepparents and stepchildren lived experiences of discipline and boundary-setting within blended family contexts in Johannesburg, South Africa. Guided by Social Learning Theory and a transformative paradigm, the study employed interpretive phenomenology to examine the behavioural, relational, and structural factors shaping stepparent–child interactions. Data were collected through in-depth semi-structured interviews with ten stepparents and ten young adults raised by stepparents and analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Findings indicate that stepparent authority is negotiated rather than assumed, especially in the absence of biological ties, and initial resistance, boundary testing, and fear are common during early interactions. Over time, authority and trust develop through consistent, fair, and responsive caregiving, reinforced by supportive biological parents and open communication. Harsh or coercive discipline may yield short-term compliance but often undermines trust and emotional well-being, whereas respect-based authority grounded in empathy fosters sustainable relational bonds. Participants highlighted patience, deliberate communication, and emotional regulation as critical strategies for navigating stepfamily dynamics. These findings underscore the importance of gradual role integration, collaborative co-parenting, and fairness in fostering stepfamily cohesion, demonstrating that effective stepparenting emerges from relational negotiation, modelling, and mutual respect rather than control or fear. The study provides practical insights for stepparents and biological parents seeking to enhance trust, authority, and emotional security within blended families.